It's so hard not to. I always get hit the most when I'm working in summer camps. In a camp of about 20 kids, there's always two or three who become my favorites after the first two days. They say the funniest things, come up with the craziest ideas, and just generally make my heart melt. It gives you all the warm fuzzy feelings when these kids run up to you to tell you a secret, or keep an inside joke with you. Knowing that they see you as a friend, or even look up to you and admire you...it's one of the most heartwarming things I've ever felt. But all too soon it's Friday and they leave. And I never see them again.
Of course it has to be this way, but every time, I can't help but wonder about these kids who I've become so fond of in such a short period of time; I wish I could know how you are going to grow up. Most of the kids I meet are ten or younger, and so much can change so quickly when you're young. Every time I say goodbye I think, "I wish I could meet you again, just to see what kind of person you became."
I think the saddest part is that most likely, the child won't remember you at all. I certainly don't remember any specific camp counselors from the myriad of camps I went to when I was ten. The adults from my childhood who have really stuck with me are people who were in my life long term, like teachers, or my first babysitter. The fact of the matter is that these kids, who I grow to love, just won't remember me after a few months.
I remember them, though. I remember all my favorites, those kids who really made an impression on me. There's William, who once asked me if the counselors have secret parties in the Pacific Science Center at night. The twins Caleb and Cameron, who I was always able to tell apart despite their tricks. Krystal, who gave me a picture she drew on the last day, since she knew I liked drawing. James and Alessio, the brightest and most creative kids I had come through my Lego camps last summer, and Dylan and Jonah, Jonah who ran back in one day after camp had ended to give me a quick hug. And then my favorite of favorites, Noah, who was just the sweetest and funniest ten year old boy I'd ever met. It's been three years since I had to say goodbye to him, but I've remembered him ever since.
It probably seems silly, that I can get so attached to these kids in the space of a week. It's a little crazy to me as well. Before I started working with kids I didn't think I'd like it at all, but now I love it. And thinking of all the kids I've had to say goodbye to always makes me a little sad. I wish so, so much that I could see them again and just know that everything is going well for them. I wish I could ask them, "Do you remember me?" And wouldn't that be something, if they said, "Yes."
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